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Cat Ears, Unnecessary Technology That Doesn’t Exist

Niko (she/her) — What — 30/04/22 20:00 GMT-5

Watch me waste your RSS feed on some silly idea that is probably impossible for some reason. Also, there’s a joke in Spanish to be made about the title of this post but English decided that “oreja” and “oído” are the same word so get fucked.

So like, cats, right? They meow, which is probably one of the most awesome things the human mind is allowed to bear witness to. But cats don’t really meow naturally, they only do it when they’re kittens. During kittenhood, if you may. They do it because their ears and vocal chords aren’t exactly developed. Naturally, as they age, their “default” meowing zone starts shifting in pitch until we’re not able to hear it. That is, unless for some reason they want it to be heard by humans. We’ve given them plenty reasons to want to be heard by humans, like abundance of food that they are not able to find in the wild but tastes damn good, so they basically train themselves to meow like babies when you’re around. You are literally being baby-talked to by cats.

Ok but what if they didn’t have to. What if we could shift our hearing to their natural pitch.

Like, isn’t that possible? Can’t we just have microphones that can hear cat sounds and nothing that is beyond cats’ unhearable frequency range, do some cool pitch change magic, play the shifted sound, and stick it into our ears so we can hear it?

I’d get these. I want to know what cats are up to when they think I can’t hear. I want to surprise them by reacting to their silent noises. I want to be able to spot a cat from a distance that no one else would be able to spot, just because they made a sound I can hear but the other people can’t.

ok now imagine they look like feline ears appended to the human head